There’s no right way To be a mom (there’s a ton of different ways)

The photo above was taken by Kristie Nicole Photo. 

If there’s ONE thing I learned through the pregnancy, labour, newborn and infant raising part of my life, it’s that EVERYONE has some piece of advice or suggestion or tip on how to go about having the most perfect future child/baby/human ever. You should do this, shouldn’t do this, must have this, can’t do that, etc. etc. The advice and keeping track of everything can be overwhelming and quite honestly… annoying. If there’s one thing I wish someone had told me early on is that you’re gonna figure it out. All steps of it; pregnancy, newborn phase, infant phase, they all have their challenges, and guess what? You are going to get through it all because you are going to have the most amazing love for your child and your mother’s intuition will kick in! So, that being said… I have written about my experiences during pregnancy and after pregnancy. This isn’t the RIGHT way to do things and I am far from a perfect mom, but these are things that worked well for me in this pregnancy and with Linden. Just because they worked for me doesn’t mean they will work for you and just because this worked for Linden, doesn’t mean it will work for my second child (if I have one). I think that’s probably my first tip… not everything will work for all moms and all babies. Everyone is different. I read like EVERY blog post, had every app, read a ton of books and also was a part of every mom community on Facebook. And, sometimes the things worked, sometimes they didn’t. Sometimes the suggestions worked multiple times, sometimes once. A lot is trial and error, and a lot is just trying different things. The best part of being a part of these groups and reading blogs is seeing different options and to try different things, but it’s important to remember (something that is rarely said), that everybody is different and just because something worked for one person does not mean it will work for another. So here it goes! P.S. as I said before I am not a perfect mom by any means but I always LOVE to talk about mom stuff and parenting, so if you have any questions or comments, please do reach out, I’d love to hear from you!

Pregnancy

1. Staying Healthy. I was pretty lucky in that I had a pretty easy recovery after giving birth to Linden (via emergency C-section which I will talk about later on in this post). I THINK a huge part of this was that I was in probably the best shape I had ever been before getting pregnant and I tried to stay as healthy as possible during pregnancy. Now, bear in mind, my version of being the best “healthiest” me isn’t six-pack abs, being on a strict diet and spending hours at the gym. When I talk about being in my best shape I was working out with Scott at the F.I.T. Academy twice a week, going to the gym 3-4 times a week and doing light cardio and making healthier eating choices. I stayed away from fast food (most of the time), I made my own meals but I NEVER starved myself. I tried to make healthier choices when possible (marinated chicken breasts over breaded, salad over fries, etc.). So, when I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to keep up with being healthy. I continued to see Scott twice a week, and honestly, I think it made a HUGE impact during my pregnancy and also during postpartum recovery. Seeing a professional trainer was a godsend when working out while pregnant and postpartum because a good trainer will know when you can push yourself, what is safe, and what your limits are. Not only did we work on weight training, cardio, and calisthenics but I think a huge part of working with a trainer is giving you the mental strength to push yourself to keep going and give you the self-confidence that you need when going through labour and having a newborn. Having a gym membership, a trainer, or even a set workout schedule during pregnancy can help keep you motivated (at least it helped me!). I don’t know how many times I didn’t feel like working out or going to the gym, but because I had made a commitment, I went which helped me have a healthy pregnancy and in my opinion a much quicker post-baby recovery. After my doctors approval, I also began working 6 weeks post Caesarian section as well, which I think has helped my mental and physical health and also given me a set time period each week where I can focus on my own health instead of focusing on my baby full time (which I love, but a little “you” time is very important).

2. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask away. Ask your friends with babies, your mom, your sister-in-law, your doctor, nurses, anyone you like. When you have questions about pregnancy or birth or raising a baby… the best people to ask are the people around you, especially those who have been through it. And… like I said in the above… pick and choose the advice you want to. You don’t have to use every little bit of advice you receive, but you can listen to options. I actually found three friends/family members that I used for when I had a question (I still use this method today). I have an extra cautious friend, a very carefree friend, and a family member who is right down the middle. When I need baby advice I sometimes ask each of them and then make my decision, or I ask the person who I think will give me the answer I want to hear. No question is stupid to ask, and sometimes it can be helpful just to get some extra assurance even when you think you know the answer already.

3. Do your research. As much or as little as you want. I LOVE researching things and reading so for me I did ALL the research and for me, that was beneficial because when something would happen (example: my baby was gassy), I could go through all the things I read in my head, scroll through and decide my next course of action. I also took Prenatal Classes at Douglas College with Kevin and we loved it. I know this isn’t something for everyone, but for me I really made me feel more confident in the birthing and labour process and how everything works (SPOILER: it isn’t like on TV where your water breaks, you go to the hospital and push a few times and a baby comes out… but I’ll let you find out for yourself). I think it was especially helpful for Kevin to understand his role in the labour and delivery process, I think something that is often not talked about is what your partner's role is. The classes really honed in on making sure the partner knew that my goal was to take care of the baby and his goal was to take care of me. For some people, this approach won’t work. Lots of reading just isn’t how they do things, they decide what to do themselves, and that’s great too… this is just what worked for me.

4. Infant First Aid & CPR. Okay, I have to admit, I am so terrified of Linden choking… I think he’s going to be on purees until he’s 20… but… taking The Safe Beginnings First Aid and CPR course really helped me to feel more confident. I would recommend this class to anyone pregnant, new moms, or caregivers of your baby (like grandmothers and sisters). I loved the course and learned a lot!

5. Rest. I think the most annoying thing I heard when I was pregnant was when people would say “get your rest now”…. sleep is a renewable resource and I cannot just pile up sleep now and save it for when I need it (I wish)… but… it’s true… having a newborn, an infant and I’m sure a teenager means you aren’t going to get much sleep. So I hate saying it… but do rest now. Sleep in on weekends, take a nap when you want and binge-watch your favourite shows on Netflix because chances are you won’t be able to do that again for a few months/years/decades…

6. Travel/Babymoon. If you can swing it… go away on a Babymoon. Not only is it a fun excuse for a vacation but its a nice way to enjoy some date time with just you and your partner before the baby comes and takes over your entire life. Enjoy the time just the two of you before being parents. We went to Vegas and lived it up. Ate at all the restaurants, went to the piano lounges and saw a raunchy show (read all about it in my Foodie’s Paradise and Viva Las Nevada Blogs). It was a great getaway and well needed time with just the two of us (cause I don’t know when we will be alone just the two of us for a vacation again). Even if you can’t swing an out of town babymoon take a long weekend at home and just enjoy the time the two of you. Go to dinner and a movie, stay up all night playing games, go for a long hike… you won’t regret these last few moments before the new most important person in your life arrives.

7. To-Do and Honey-do List. The last thing you want to do when you have a newborn and are homebound is look around the house and think “I need to do this, I need to do that”, so… try and get all the things done that you can before the baby comes. I am a firm believer in being over-prepared and I think when it comes to taking care of a tiny human you can’t be too over-prepared. So of course, prepare the nursery, pre-wash all the baby clothes, get your changing table prepared, etc. but also… do the things around the house you’ve always said you wanted to do. Do a super deep clean of everything (windows, fridge, oven, baseboards, etc.) because chances are you won’t be able to do that for a while after the baby is born. Also, do all those tasks you’ve always said you were going to do and didn’t. Mine included cleaning out the pantry and cupboard and getting rid of as much junk as I could. I also stored all my pre-pregnancy clothing in boxes so they weren’t staring at my asking when I would fit into them again… surprise… 8 months out, they still don’t and I’m happy they aren’t still sitting in my closet taunting me.

8. Focus on health and beauty. I know my first tip was about fitness and eating healthy but there’s more to it than that. Make time for your physical and mental health before the baby comes because unfortunately for a little while… your health is going to come VERY secondary to your little munchkin. Do ALL the health things… get your teeth cleaned, get prenatal massages, get acupuncture… and don’t forget to get those special treatments that you love done. Get that mani and Pedi and get your hair cut, blown-out and those lash extensions on… because when you do have time to do these things later on you are probably going to choose to sleep instead. Oh hey, talking about getting mani and pedis… just be aware that there is a chance they could remove your nail polish in the hospital during labour because the colour can affect the pulse monitor they put on your finger… but your nails not being perfect will be the very least of your concerns as you are pushing a human out of your body.

9. Go on dates. Kevin and I have been together for over 12 years now…(how did that happen), and I’m lucky that we have never stopped “dating” we love to go on dates. Like I talked about in the babymoon portion of this post… go on as many dates as you can before your baby is born and enjoy it without checking in with the babysitter, pumping bottles before you go out and finding outfits that you don’t feel horrible in post-pregnancy, ha! (hallelujah for flowy dresses). Go to concerts, have picnics in the park, go to dinner, see a hockey game… do all the stuff you love to do together. It’s tough to lose sight of the romance when you have a newborn so dating each other again before your baby is born is a magical experience. Live it up! We went to Canucks Games (one of our favourite things to do), spend a night in downtown Vancouver and also went to our first Seahawks game! Also, celebrate those last few holidays together before the baby comes and it’s all about them, ha! I was SUPER pregnant during Christmas and Valentine’s Day so we enjoyed our last Christmas and Valentine’s Day just the two of us. We have a tradition of going out with one of my closest friends and her husband every Valentine’s Day. We’ve gone away for the weekend, gone on dinner cruises and fancy restaurants. This year we kept it simple (it was a week before my due date) and had dinner together at a restaurant close to home. Modified for my comfort, we didn’t stay out as late as we normally do, and we didn’t do something off the beaten path, but it was a fantastic way to spend the last Valentine’s Day just the two (four) of us!

10. Maternity Photos. This is one of those “if you could go back and talk to myself at the moment with the knowledge I know now, I would have”. I’m lucky enough to have a super talented friend Kristie who offered to take our maternity photos, and I am so lucky she did. Because honestly, if she hadn’t done them, I probably wouldn’t have many photos of myself while pregnant and would have regretted it completely. The reason for not wanting the photos done is in my third trimester I felt huge. I didn’t feel beautiful or that I was “glowing” I felt huge, heavy and I looked and felt tired. The entire time I had the photos taken I felt self-conscious (I even went and got my makeup done so I could try and feel more beautiful (which normally works to give myself a little self-esteem boost), but even that didn’t work for me. I felt big and uncomfortable the whole time. And then… I received the photos and Kristie did an amazing job of making me look happy and confident and getting some beautiful shots. But I have to admit when I first got the photos back I thought the setting and photography was great. I also thought Kevin looked great and I loved the photos of my belly up close. But I hated seeing the double chin I had gained, how much fat I had gained in my face, the way pregnancy had made my hair frizzy and that I felt I looked huge all over. Flash forward 8 months later.. and I LOVE the photos, not because all those feelings about my body weren’t true, but because I LOVED that she captured this amazing time in our lives. And the photos are such a nice thing to look back on and I can’t wait to share with Linden when he’s older this beautiful moment in time when he was growing in me. I will 100% be getting maternity photos done with our second baby and HOPEFULLY, after knowing what I know now, I will be able to enjoy the experience and live in the moment a little more the second time around.

11. Listen to your body. If you can try and be really in tune with your body during your pregnancy, I think that can be a really good thing! A pregnant woman’s body and intuition can tell you a lot of things. I know I said I pushed myself to work out and eat healthily, but I could really tell the difference from feeling lazy and not wanting to work out and feeling like I REALLY needed to rest. When you need rest, rest. When you have a craving to eat a bunch of bread DO IT! Also, listen to your body if you think something is wrong. I’ll go into more detail about my experience in the next part about the labour and delivery process, but your body can tell you amazing things. I didn't feel well one day, checked my blood pressure it was high, went to the maternity ward at the hospital and was checked in for pre-eclampsia, something I wasn’t aware I had until this hospital visit (at 39 weeks). Being in tune with your body and listening to your needs can be very important to your health and the health of your baby.

12. Enjoy it. Pregnancy can at times be really hard. If you have terrible morning sickness, gestational diabetes, or any health issues it can be scary and even more difficult. Also, it’s hard to feel beautiful when you feel like a whale (at least for me), but now I look back and realize how beautiful it was to carry my son for 9 months and how incredible it was to feel him kick and move inside me. How I was able to nourish his growth and life within me… It is a truly incredible thing our bodies can do so try to enjoy every minute of it (even the hard stuff).

Labour/Delivery

Before I talk about my suggestions/tips for the day(s) you meet your little one, I just want to share my experience as things don’t always work out according to your “plan” to my surprise… I stupidly (or should I say naively) thought. My plan was to labour at home as possible, have no inductions, then go to the hospital, possibly do some labouring in the bathtub/shower, have no epidural or medications, try my best to do a standing/squatting delivery and go home with my baby…. let’s just say that didn’t happen for me.

It was Monday, February 25th and I was getting some pre-natal acupuncture done. I had been getting acupuncture treatments before becoming pregnant and during my pregnancy. I found it helped my body relax and remove pain before pregnancy and during pregnancy, it helped to (temporarily) remove morning sickness, helped me sleep better and was supposed to help my body get ready for natural labour (which was my goal). So, the session started as normal and then one needle went into my foot and I felt an immediate head rush and instantly felt sick like I was going to vomit and faint. I told the acupuncturist and she immediately removed the needle and gave me a glass of water. After a few minutes, I felt better but decided to listen to my body and end the session early. I should preface this by saying that in my third trimester during my prenatal appointments, the doctors were saying that my blood pressure was a little bit on the high side, but that it wasn’t a concerning level and just that if I ever felt sick to go check my blood pressure. I immediately left the clinic and headed to a local pharmacy to check my blood pressure on one of those arm machines, it was alarmingly high (much higher than any of my doctor’s appointments), so I called the maternity ward and told them what had happened. They suggested I come in to get checked out as it was better to be on the safe side and err on the side of caution. When they checked my blood pressure it had gone back down to normal levels. The doctor who saw me didn’t like something that he saw and decided to follow up with urine and blood tests. When the results came back it was confirmed that I had pre-eclampsia and that my plan for a natural labour was not going to happen. They were going to induce me then, and then every 12 hours until the baby came as this was what was safest for the baby (and for me). Although this wasn’t my hope, I trusted the doctor and went with his plan. We were using Cervidil for the induction which isn’t super harsh so the doctor anticipated I would likely have my baby sometime around Friday and that I would be staying in the hospital for monitoring until then. They would monitor Linden’s heart rate every two to four hours and then they would follow up with a doctor with the results. Everything seemed to be going fine and there were no concerns. Then at 7 pm on Tuesday evening, I was being monitored and all of a sudden the happy and carefree vibe in my hospital room changed. The nurse who was monitoring me said she was going to call the Doctor and come back. She came back with an Obstetrician who explained that I was having contractions (something that had been happening since Monday (but I couldn’t feel), and that with each contraction Linden’s heart-rate was dropping and wasn’t recovering well. They said that Linden was in distress and that we needed to take action by having an emergency c-section. My maternity doctor agreed with the Obstetrician that this was the safest course of action for myself and my baby, so of course; we followed through. Fifteen minutes after being told I was having a c-section I was being rolled into the OR for surgery. It was terrifying. A few minutes before this had all happened Kevin and I had been eating dinner and binge-watching Game of Thrones on my iPad. For the first time since being checked into the hospital, I was separated from Kevin and was laying on a table after having a whole-body epidural (couldn’t feel anything from my neck down) with nurses and doctors poking and prodding me everywhere. There was a curtain covering the lower half of my body and I couldn’t see anything that was going on. Once they had finished prepping me for the operation, Kevin was allowed to be beside me. He comforted me and told me that everything was going to be okay. I couldn’t see what was happening and I couldn’t feel any pain, but oddly I could feel the pressure of them making the incision and pulling Linden out. It’s such a hard thing to explain to anyone who hasn’t had a c-section. The closest thing I can compare it to is when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I couldn’t feel pain but could feel the pressure of them removing the tooth. When they had Linden out, no one really said anything for a minute they just brought Linden over to an examination table on the other side of the room (where I still couldn’t see him and hadn’t yet at this point). Kevin was over with them and I heard them say “Wow, he’s big” (he was born at 9 pounds 11 oz.). After what felt like an eternity (but was likely only a couple of minutes), they put Linden onto my chest and it was the most AMAZING feeling in the world. Seeing, hearing, feeling your baby for the first time. The immediate love you have for this little being. There’s no word to describe the overwhelming emotions. The reason I share this story is that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING no part of my labour went according to my “plan”. But... I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wholeheartedly trust that the doctors and nurses made all the right decisions for myself and Linden to have the healthiest safest entry into this world and I wouldn’t change a thing!

1. Birth plan. If you took the time to read my LONG blurb above you’ll see I had a birth plan (I think it was six pages long) and that not a single thing I wanted to have happened occurred for me… well except for Kevin being there and getting to do skin-to-skin and breastfeed right away. Even though things did not go according to plan, I don’t regret having a plan. I think making my plan really helped sort out what things were important to me and helped us both (Kevin and I) become knowledgable about all the options. Because of having a birth plan, I knew what Cervidil was and I knew that I didn’t want to have Pitocin. I knew the right questions to ask and what my options were. So having a plan is good, but not sticking to the plan is okay too. I probably wouldn’t do a birth plan the second time around but would recommend it to a first time mom for sure, just for the knowledge that you will gain.

2. Packing your labour bag. Packing your labour back is IMPORTANT! I overpacked somethings and under packed others, lol! I also hadn’t prepared for a c-section so that changed everything! I was at the hospital a lot longer than I planned (5 days) so that also changed things a lot. But here are some of the things I had or didn’t have at the hospital that I think are important to bring.

   1. Comfortable clothes. I saw all these cute outfits mom’s have on Instagram with matching outfits and well put together hair and makeup. Throw that out the window. I brought makeup and hair stuff. I brought cute outfits and wore the hospital gown most of the time. It really isn’t going to matter what you look like. And you are going to be uncomfortable so try everything to make yourself as comfortable as possible. I brought lulu’s and thought they were going to be perfect… but I had a c-section so they were so uncomfortable being right on the scar line. Instead, I wished I had brought high waisted sweatpants (something my Sister-In-Law) brought to my house after returning home and they were the comfiest thing ever. But, also I think I would have loved to have the nursing gown that I wore during Linden’s first few months of life. I had this nursing gown from Motherhood Maternity and not only was it so comfortable and loose-fitting, but the clips made nursing so easy and it was easy to wash.

3. Expect the unexpected. Like I’ve said above, things don’t always go according to plan. Prepare for the unexpected. Things will most likely not go your way on everything, but try to relax and go with it and understand that no matter how your baby gets here, they will get here!

4. Visitor plan. I cannot recommend making a visitor plan enough. There are a lot of family and friends who are going to want to see you and more importantly your new little bundle of joy. But… a ton of visitors can be very overwhelming especially when you are just figuring out the whole parenthood thing. Make your plans clear and make sure your partner and family know your plan and understand your requests. Who do you want in the room when you deliver? Who do you want to be at the hospital when the baby is born? Who can come to visit you at the hospital? Who do you want to visit you at home? All these questions are important and it's great to have everyone (partner and family) on board to be gatekeepers. Make your intentions and plans clear to everyone involved so there are no awkward moments or hard feelings at the hospital or back at home. Also, try your best to make it clear that when visitors come that short visits are best as you and your family are adjusting to your new wonderful (and sleep-free) life!

5. Ask a nurse. Having a baby gave me a whole new understanding of the importance of nurses. They do EVERYTHING and are so amazing. They are also an incredible source of information and assistance. Wondering if that rash is normal? Curious about the black tar poops? Having issues getting your baby to latch? All these things they have seen and answered a million times and they will be more than happy to help and guide you in the right direction.

6. Fed is best. I found throughout my pregnancy process (talking to friends, taking classes, etc.), there was a huge emphasis on breastfeeding and a “breast is best” mentality. And although breastfeeding worked for me and my motherhood journey this time around, it might not the next time and it doesn’t work for everyone. Fed is best and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed otherwise. I was a formula-fed baby and I believe I am a relatively normal, healthy, well-adjusted human (but I’ll let you decide that for yourself). If you want to breastfeed, that's great (I’ll do a post about nursing soon!), if you want to formula-feed, that’s great, if you want to combo-feed, that's great too! A fed baby is a healthy baby and that is all that matters.

7. Don’t be shy. You are going to have a ton of people looking all over your body and touching you in ways you never imagined… and it isn’t comfortable… and it’s tough to get used to. But by the time your wonderful child is in your arms, you’re not gonna care that your breasts are out, or that your wearing a hospital gown with the back open, and that you haven’t showered in two days and that your breath stinks… you won’t care, your baby won’t care, the doctors and nurses have seen it all. It’s a shocking experience but believe me, you will get over it as soon as you see your little bundle and nothing else will matter.

8. Bring your iPad or a book. Sometimes your hospital stay can be longer than expected so it’s nice to have something to read or watch. Since we were stuck in the hospital before Linden’s arrival we actually binged watched all of Game of Thrones and almost caught up to the final season! It’s great to have something to do in your hospital bag (deck of cards, magazines, etc.) so that you have something to do in case your hospital stay is longer than expected.

9. Skip the dishes. It’s no secret that hospital food is awful, but luckily we live in a wonderful high tech world where we can order food on our phones from our favourite restaurants and have them delivered to your hospital bed… yes! Skip The Dishes was our Savior during our hospital stay and I would highly recommend ordering during your stay. (just confirm with your doctors/nurses that you have been cleared to eat!)

Having A Newborn

1. What do you need? There is so much that is helpful to have on hand when having a baby. Too much for a list here, so I’ve compiled some of my necessities on my Must Have, Baby Blog!

2. Be vocal about your needs. Do you need a break to take a long hot shower by yourself? Do you need to go to a coffee shop alone for a few minutes? Do you need to go to the gym? It can be hard to remember that your mental and physical health is just as important as the new baby in your life. So, be vocal about your needs with your family and friends. If they ask what they can do, tell them! If you NEED a cup of coffee and haven’t got the energy to go brew your own, tell them! If you just want a few minutes to yourself, ask them to watch your baby. Be vocal about what you need and ask for help when you need it. You aren’t alone and you don’t have to do it all on your own.

3. Make your life easier in every way you can. Do everything you can to make your life a little bit easier. Example: we had two bassinets, one upstairs in our bedroom that Linden spent nights in and our Uppababy bassinet and bassinet stand in our living room. This was super helpful so I didn’t have to carry a baby bassinet up and down a flight of stairs depending on where I was in the house. Linden also loved the Mamaroo that we had borrowed from friends. I found out that Linden would stay calm and I could take a shower if I kept him in a swing and it was getting exhausting carrying the Mamaroo up and downstairs all the time to the shower. So I bought a second one online for $10 from kids bidding site on Facebook and kept that one in the bathroom! These extra things although they might sound frivolous and unnecessary, they can make those first few months a little bit easier!

4. Buy used or borrow. Like I said above, I purchased a swing second hand. I also purchased a Jolly Jumper, sit-me-up-chair, and tonnes of clothes second-hand. Buying things second hand is a great way to save money and also try something new to see if your baby likes it before making a big investment.

5. Newborn Photos. Our newborn photos were done by my super talented cousin Carol-Ann Photography and I LOVE them! I love looking back at them and they are such an amazing capsule of this sweet incredible, magic moment in our lives where everything changed forever! I LOVE these photos and would highly recommend getting newborn photos done!

6. Birth Certificate. When you return home from the hospital, your new life can be a whirlwind, but one thing you will want to do is to register the birth of your child on the Government website. It is important so you can get your baby’s birth certificate and medical card. It is great to register as soon as possible so that you can have a hard copy of your baby’s ID and medical card so that you can easily access their PHN for appointments (as you will have A LOT of them).

7. Do it your way. If you thought you got a lot of advice when you were pregnant… just wait until you have a newborn… you are going to get ALL the advice (wanted or not!). Do this, don’t do that, try this, don’t try that.. you are going to get ALL the advice when you have a newborn. Take the advice, try it, don’t try it, throw it out the window… it doesn’t matter… you are the baby’s parent and you know what’s best for them. The first few months are wonderful… but they are also scary, complicated, and stressful, but don’t worry! You are going to find your way! I promise!

Having An Infant

1. Sleep training. Before having Linden I never thought I would sleep train. I thought sleep training meant you let your baby “Cry It Out” until they are exhausted and fall asleep, and I just didn’t/couldn’t do that. Emotionally I wouldn’t be able to handle that and it wouldn’t have been the right step for me to take. Flash forward to Linden being four months old and I NEEDED to find a solution to his sleep. Linden was never a good sleeper. From month 1-3 he would sleep a 2-3 hour stretch and then be up every 45 minutes to an hour and need to be nursed, rocked, sang, etc. for the rest of the night. Then the four-month regression set in and it got even worse. He was up every 45 minutes like clockwork, it was exhausting and I needed to find a solution. Enter Jori from The Crib Coach! After one phone conversation with Jori, I knew it was going to be the right fit. We picked a gentle sleep training method which meant I wouldn’t be letting Linden cry and cry and cry. And we worked on an appropriate sleep schedule as well as teaching Linden how to fall asleep independently without my help. It was LIFE changing. Not only did I start getting 11 hour stretches at night, but he was/is taking 2 long naps during the day (1.5-2 hours each). Sleep training has CHANGED our lives. I’m a much happier mom and Linden is a happier baby!

2. Don’t compare your baby to others. Some babies hit milestones sooner than others and that’s OKAY! It can get really difficult not to compare your baby to other babies especially when you are bombarded with baby videos on Instagram and Facebook, but don’t be discouraged. All babies work at their own pace and they will eventually figure things out!

3. Google (sometimes). Googling can be great sometimes when it comes to things like “is this a teething rash”, “what is the appropriate bath temperature” etc. etc. But sometimes it can give you the worst advice so be cautious. The best websites to use are those that are respected like government health websites. But when in doubt call your public health unit, pharmacist or your family doctor. They know a whole of a lot more than google.

4. Babylon. I LOVE the Babylon app!! If you are Canadian this service is covered by your medical plan and it’s amazing. You can book an appointment with a doctor on the phone (often within the hour) and they will do a skype call with you. When you have a newborn, this is a great way to ask quick questions about nursing, prescriptions, and general baby information without having to drag your baby to the doctor’s office. This, of course, is not in place of your baby’s health checkups or for emergency situations. But if you have quick questions or need a prescription, it’s a great app to use. They also can forward prescriptions right to a pharmacy near you to fill, which is so convenient. Another great thing is that it saves a video of your appointment within the app so that you can go back and review your appointment if you have any questions!

5. Family Photos. Again, we had photos done when Linden was around 6 months, this time with our extended family and we love them. I don’t think you can have enough good professional family photos. Cellphones are great and all, but a great high-quality framer is something else entirely.

6. Passport. If you (like us) love to travel, it’s a great idea to get your baby’s passport done as soon as possible (they last 5 years), and getting their photo done when they are old enough (that their eyes are open), but not too old that they are squirmy and won’t sit still for the photo. We got Linden’s passport photo done when he was around 6 or 7 weeks old and we got it done at Photo Expressions in PoCo and they did an amazing job! They wrapped linden in a swaddle and got his photo done quickly. They made it super easy and when I took the photo to the passport office, the clerk said: “This is the BEST infant passport photo I’ve seen” and asked where we got it done so she could recommend it to people when they ask where to get infant photos were taken (apparently they get denied a lot).

7. Things are going to change no matter how hard you fight it. You might think you are going to be that parent that doesn’t use a sleep schedule and takes your kid to every restaurant with you and that your life won’t change very much. But guess what… it will… and it does. Your old life may be a distant memory, but you will build a new life around this wonderful new person that you have brought into the world and it will all be worth it!

Call your mom and thank her. She did all this for you and you’ll never truly understand the love she has for you until you have your own baby. It is incredible. Good luck to all the moms out there (and dads), remember the best mom for your baby is you, you know what is right, trust your gut!